The World

I just understood now, I have not the slightest clue how the world works and I am tired of trying to know. My dilemma comes about rather is brought about by the fact that I want to know a few people that I can hang out with. Some friends or so to say. I want to have a couple of people outside of work and outside of where I worship to atleast make me feel alive or just do the once in a while crazy things that I want to do. Now, it happened that I went out with a couple of those guys for a drink and I left in the middle to go for what I would call a rendezvous. Now, the problem came in when I mentioned it to a guy who happens to be my friend. I knew what I was doing, I knew why I did what I did and I knew it was not a good idea, but I did it anyways. He did not like it and he told me that I should not hang out with them. Why? I just should not. My question was, then how do I get to meet people, the reason I went out in the first place is to meet people out of my daily circles. Right?? Yes, but now I cannot go out to meet people out of my circles. I should stay in??? It does not make sense to me. I already have my good friends, I am not looking to add any more. I just want to enjoy myself over a drink with great company. I still ask… what is?

Well, on so many levels it is wrong. One I should stick with the devils I know and not the angels I don’t know. Bad Associations spoil useful habits and all. This is probably going to sound like an excuse but these people enlighten me on what is happening, I get to sit with them and see the world’s point of view, which by the way I have stopped listening or trying to understand and these are the people who entertain me reminding me that I am not lonely and I am not alone. Yes, these are the people who keep me sane. Trust me, I need all the sanity right now.

But my pal, said I should not hang out with them. That they will come to me. Remember, I didn’t look for them, rather they looked for me and I was bored, so I went. These are not people I am interested in dating. I just want to, as the society puts it, socialize. He told me I have a bad choice in men. Yes, I do, all the men I have dated have broken my heart and at this point in my life, I am not too sure I want to go down that road again. But if I meet the guy of my dreams then I will surely follow my heart. Which the Bible warns us, the heart is treacherous.

So now what to do? What to do? Now, I am going to die a lonely old maid who will be eaten by her 24 cats. Thihihi. 

When Life Throws You a Curve-ball.

A curve ball is a ball that is pitched with a snap of the wrist and a strong downward spin, which causes the ball to drop suddenly and deceptively veer... and in life a curve-ball is when things happen so fast in your life that it causes you to get confused and start viewing it from a different angle. Most of us go through this in our daily lives and for some of us who can handle the pressure, we do so effortlessly and gracefully. For others, we choose to commit suicide, an easier way out. Others as yet suffer a nervous breakdown and what do you know...they go mental. And life has its ways of dealing us these curve-balls. Now, depending on how well you handle the pressure and pull it out we still have to stand firm and smile like nothing has happened. Right...there is the smile I want. 

Recently I learnt that not all that glitters is gold, it glitters, it is golden but it is not gold. And if it glitters... I have many acquaintances  few friends and even fewer very close friends. Yes, that is how my life is and as of now, my life is very complicated. I love my life and cannot change anything about it. I didn't understand how a man or woman can fall in love twice. I am a believer that if you fall in love once it is with one person, if that person hurts you, you can never fall in love again. Yes, that's me. 

A few months ago, I fell in love again. How did I know? I just knew 

Loving him came easy, he made time for me, I love the way he talks, and smiles, I see myself having his children despite the fact that I had said I will not have children. He made me so annoyed yet I still wanted to try and make him happy, he respects me, he loves me and he tells me the truth. There is a saying that "bad taste is when you are about to tell a close friend the BITTER truth." I am as bad an adviser as there can ever be in this lifetime and the next. I am a good listener but I cannot and choose not to and prefer never to give advice to anyone. I believe that you should make your own decisions. This one came easy to me. I want him and like an ogre with his beast...(I hope) nothing will keep me away from him. 

And recently, as much as I can easily analyse someone's  character, I was lacking in that talent when I hooked up. Yeah,he was my friend, once in a while escapades, I was all about the fun and laughter and about only the good things in life. There is a song that sings "Wise men said, only fools rush in". It took me over 5 years to realize that I am in love with this guy and now that I know, I am on cloud 9. Yet...there is a curve-ball. A spinning, fast curve-ball. I waited too long. 

Trust

First, trust is defined as belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. 

We all know that it plays a crucial part in our lives and as we all know, it is quite important for us to have trust in our daily lives and our daily activities. Yes, trust has a very big part to play in our lives. Not only in people but in the machines we use, the telephone services we use and basically everything else. Time and time again, that trust is broken and once that link is broken, it takes a long time to regain it or rebuild it. 





We all know that once a glass breaks, and if you want to put together the pieces, the task will no doubt be very daunting. Yes, that is no doubt how we feel sometimes when someone you trust shatters that trust that you had in him. 

I had a very interesting experience the other day. A friend of mine whom I have known for years recommended one of his friend to me to transact business with. Now, on this occasion  it was an issue of desperate moments calls for desperate measures. I was a bit skeptical and even put my radar on high alert. My instincts were flaring RED! RED! but because I had complete and uttermost trust in my friend, I decided that I shall do the deed and close the deal. 

The deal, yes, it was closed and small issues started arising from every corner and I felt like I would kill my friend. But in reality, my friend did not have and does not have any faults because all he did was to put in a good word for the other guy and what I should have done was to check my facts and have the correct figures and all, before I actually went ahead and closed the deal.  It landed me in huge problems. Problems that I had not foreseen myself in ever. And the worst thing was that this was a preventive problem. 

I have learned that I will have my facts straight and I know I will get it right the next time. Word of caution....

Blast From The Past

I think this is almost the third time I am thinking of the same title. I remember when I was young and happy and carefree, It was a joy to skip around and not know what awaited me when I grew up. Just lived my life and went by innocently. Now I am all grown up and I look at all the happy children and I get a sadist's moment... "gosh! you don't really know what awaits you..."

But then as I go about my daily business , I meet my friends, and colleagues, I make new friends, I change my hairstyle and 6 days out of a week, I am A-okay, nothing to fear apart from being mad at someone for not being the perfectionist you are. And then it brings this question to mind...does knowing the future, not predicting it, but knowing what will happen really help.

I mean, some of us have deep founded faith in God, others are atheists and other believe in the church of the flying monster...YES...it exists. I know that religion is a very sensitive subject so I will go back to my question and have an illustration. What does it help for a woman dying with cancer to know that she will die tomorrow? In my opinion, it makes me think that it will give her a chance to do the one thing she had wanted to do for such a long time and now that she has one more day she will do it. Another question arises, will she do it for fun or from the pressure that she is dying and she had promised herself to do it.

Then again, if you don't tell her she is dying and she continues to live in the hope that she will be cured and will have five more days...what is the harm in that? Well, I don't have a definite answer, and though I might have plans for next week, I still live for what tomorrow brings.

They (people) say it is fate, or destiny, God or Satan, whichever way it is, at the end of the day, it is your personal decision and your personal choice. We were all given something called "fee will" to choose what we feel is right. We can choose according to the society's stereotypes, the teachings our parents have given us, our teachings in our places of worship and sometimes let people influence us on what we believe in. Whichever way "we" YOU want what you want, when you want and how you want. It all lies with you.

Love it, hate it, regret it, enjoy it, YOU did it!!!!

Nostaligia

Dear Kissa,

Hope you have been great. I am ok. I was just thinking about you and decided to write to you in greeting. It has been a long time since we last wrote to each other. I am good and all is going well.

I am planning to travel to Nairobi over the holidays and I hope I will get a chance to you see you. Our estate phone both number  is 020 456 746, please call me on 29th of March at 5 pm. I will be waiting for your call. And don't forget like last time. Or you can call me and ask the watchman to call me. Don't forget like last time when I had to wait for you for over 2 hours. I will be looking forward to your call.

I will come to Nairobi to visit my sisters and I can't wait to play with my nephews and my nieces and my cousins as well. I hope I will also get a chance to come to your house and see all those beautiful windows and dolls that you tell us about......

   ........................................................................................................
My love,

The only thing that makes me sleep is to dream about you.
I get home and I cant imagine how tired you are because you have been running through my mind.
I love you like I love myself, only more.

The roses are red, so is my heart for you.
Violets are blue just like this card I made for you.
My kisses are hot just like I sent them with this letter...

I get down on bended knees to ask you....

    ..................................................................................................................
I remember the process of sitting down a d writing a letter used to be very interesting. I would sit and pour out my hear and in details at that. I still treasure the letters I wrote to someone. When I finally get to share all.   This longing was brought about by my friend who shared a love letter written to him a long time ago by his then teen girlfriend. I would have loved to add it to my collection but I only had to copy but a few rhymes from it.

It reminds me of some of the old blues song like " Last Night" by Az Yet. Oh men, when they sang that song, I would watch them on TV doing the video, and oooh men!!! I will be on cloud nine. That was then, how I miss those days...

A little Smile

As I was walking to work this morning and children were going to school, I saw the sweetest thing ever and I thought to myself, "now, that is how things should be." After a while you get used to routine and your life falls into routine that it is hard to change. When you view change you view it as a threat. It is like a virus that eats away at you and causing disease. However, the common saying is that change is as good as a rest. That might be exactly what I need. Then again, all is good when love is there....

My morning routine goes something like, wake up, prepare for work, have breakfast, walk to the bus stop and off to work. This morning was a bit different. I decided to leave the house a bit early, I took time  observing the children as they walked to school. What was touching was these two children were going to school on a motorbike, the girl seemed about 7 years and the boy 6 years. The girl is slightly taller than the boy, but he insisted that the girl sit first from the rider. Being an elder child, the girl was feeling protective of the brother and being a man in the family, the boy was feeling protective over his sister. The rider picking them up looked upon them smiling and decided to indulge the boy and when they got atop the motorbike and the girl started yelling that the brother will fall off and kept telling the rider to stop so that they can switch places. Off they went and I don't know how they concluded that matter.

For me, it reminded me how often as friends we have fallen off that motorbike without really caring when, how or what was going on with our friends and sadly some of our family members. How often have you remembered to say hello, or just wish someone a good day? With this era of cellphones,  the conversation has gone from a hug a kiss and a hello to a text message "hi, hw r u?", from, "I am coming to see you" to video chats and people seem far and far away and the technology doesn't make it better. It certainly makes us feel closer or nearer but it drives us insanely apart.

We should take care not to to fall off the motorbike, less we prove Einstein right when he said;

and become....
be social, be lovable. Its free.

Live as I Live-Just Like That.

When I was young, I was too fearful to do wrong because I knew I would be punished. As a teen, I thought the world was against me, so I lived like I had nothing except my friends. Early into adulthood, I realised that I had much more to offer and therefore got over myself and the world was my oyster. All I had to do was make sure that everything I did was principally and legally correct. Yes, that was my life. One think I believed in my naive experiences, was that as I matured and experienced life, one thing that would not follow me into old age was gossip. 

As I slept, as I went about my business, there were people talking about me. Well, I do admit, I love the attention and If people don't talk about me, they would be irrelevant. I also talk about people. I tell my friends about my achievements or accomplishments, what I did and I also tell my other friends what we talked about. When I talk to Greg about Tom, and Mia to Nel, I will go back to Tom and Nel and tell them what Greg, Mia and myself talked about them. Now that is also defined as gossip. Let's go back and define the word gossip. 
Gossip literally means: Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.




Yes, this is what it means to gossip. And we have it all around, we have it at work. In our homes, our places of shopping and it is even worse when you live in a small town or community. One person said that "what someone says about you does not define you, they have a right to their opinion and you have a right to ignore them". This sentiment is experienced by many and they go through it every single day. Gossip at work ruins lots of relationships especially of you choose to listen to it. As soon as you listen and act on the gossipers you are following the crowd and if they fall in a ditch, you fall in that ditch with them too. I'm a firm believer in loyalty and professionalism. You can socialise with your workmates, that is OK, you can go out after work for a drink or dinner, enjoy yourself, after all, if you spend more than eight hours together in an office, what is two more hours, but that is as far as it can go. 

Now,, let us define rumours. A rumour is - a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth: "they were investigating rumours of a massacre. This one is brought about by envy, jealosy and unfounded malicious feelings. I believe that when rumours and gossip areossip are combined they become a deadly combination for disaster.  This leads to disastrous results and the consequences neither too pleasant nor too exciting. Rumours are also started to gain leverage over the victim and in this instance the hurt, pain and victimization is not an experience one would want to live or relive. his is in society is common and though unacceptable it is widely practised. I shall do well to listen to the counsel found in 

As I age, I will still follow my parents' advice and practise the Bible principle,  hey while you are busy talking about you, live your life, for this world is not your home, and it is just passing us by. And while you are busy talking about me at this age, but, hey, if that is what you enjoy in your past time, have fun. 

I will be busy, 

Time and Tales

When times goes by, we grow older and wiser, we become one. We learn we cry, we laugh, we teach. We become aunties, uncles  brothers, fathers and mothers, we live and we learn. We become stronger with each passing day. There are many sad and depressing things in the world right now. Pure pain and heartache, mean and cruel people, This is what we see all around us and every where we go. We always go round and round and round, sort of like time in sand. All we hear are tales after tales after tales.

Be careful when someone is too nice to you and treats you just the way you want to be treated because, when the deal is too good, think twice. We all have gone through that at one point or another and sometimes people say that you should not believe it because then it will happen and that if something goods comes to you on your lap, then it is only right for you to grab it and run away with it. Now, I am not saying this is a bad thing and being an opportunist, I am confidently stating that I will take it and run with it. However, when you are grabbing it think of the consequences. Does the good outweigh the bad? Does the time spend to do this in a positive or negative light.

An example is that my friend, Kim, has been single for a while now and she has got used to being alone, which she has come to realise that it is easier on her than it is to be in a strenuous relationship. And recently she came to good fortune of a gentleman who showered her with attention, and was thoughtful kind and considerate. While on normal occasions a man, Kent, would never introduce you to a fellow man in terms of hooking you up, this particular man, was what is commonly referred to as godsend. Kent hooked Kim up with a thoughtful and considerate guy, she was ecstatic.

Short lived though, she came to realise that the man, Fred,  was not only immature but insensitive and unapologetic. In short, he was simply rude, mean and cruel and was only a proper gentleman for selfish purposes. You might say that my friend had to do with the sudden change in attitude for the man, but nothing doing, and I'm not saying this, just because I wasn't to take her side, she is a very naive lady and it is was easy to take advantage of her. My advice to you all, try and understand the person you are with to try and foresee the ditch you might land yourself in. For my friend, all she needed to note was that the guy in question, Fred, never mentioned names in conversations, it was always my dad, my uncle, my sister, my mother and so forth. When talking about your family in general, you will throw a name or two and then refer the relationship later. That was an oversight on her part to which she was sub conscious about but never really took it as a big deal.

  One day when Fred took his aunt to buy a microwave, he came back with a sorry mood that scared Kim and awoke her from her slumber. She realised that time is very precious and as she sat there and contemplated her next move, she was already calculating just how far  and how fast she could run  away from Fred. After all, she had no time to waste for the precious time can not be recovered. Just ask the patient who missed the ambulance by a minute. 

Kenyans Voted Ugliest in Africa - 22 January 2012 - Guide2Uganda News

http://www.guide2uganda.com/news/78176/Kenyans-Voted-Ugliest-in-Africa

Kenyans were last weekend voted the funniest looking people in Africa. With 48 participating nations in the Annual Most Beautiful People of Africa Awards, held at the Gregor Theater in Bloemfontein SA, Kenya took the last position, dislodging Zambia and reclaiming the title it held in 2000.

It posted 7 points out of a possible 540 points. The top position was taken by Rwanda, followed by Cameroon and then Ethiopia as second runner up. The last three positions were Kenya at 48, Zambia at 47, then Gabon, at 46. The judges said they gave their points based on presentation, physical appearance, grooming, communication and other areas.

Coincidentally this came just a week after an article on Kenyans appeared in the Pretorian Bird. The article, in the entertainment section, claims Kenya has the funniest looking president on earth, and a VP with a strange looking head. It goes on to say that Kikuyu women and Luo men pose the most weird features.

"Women from the Kikuyu community have small legs, totally no figures, and a little exeggerated heads. They lack good behinds and those who have them look like inflated baloons.They are shaped like pyramids turned upside down.A big upper frame and an almost inviscible lower bit. 

Luo men on the other side have distorted facial features..say big lips and huge noses or should we call them knobs. Kikuyu men are also unproportional, and most of them are stunted. They walk leaning foward. Plus they have long rusty teeth."

"Those from Kisii Districts are small people, the average Kenyan man will stop growing at 5'2"...5'4" tops. Kisii men have mango shaped heads, and bowed legs, a feature also common in in their Luhya counterparts."

He goes on to describe Kaleos as "Funny little pitch black emaciated fellows, raking in millions from the track. However long they'll remain in Europe, their features never improve". "Nandis will have rounded foreheads, and thin, long arms". While occupants at the coast province are said to have "Wide faces, almost like a widescreen telly, especially taitas,and durumas"

"Kenyans do not know the meaning of good grooming" The writer says. "The women hate their dark skins and opt for mercury bleachs which mess them up. The result: A scary (unpigmented)light face, black legs, and a black back". As much as the Kenyan accent, of standard english is admired, "there's too much mothertounge interference, common in Merus, Kisiis, and Kikuyus".

While Luos were pointed out as to be suffering from chronic 'braggitis'. The research funded by the institute of Primate Research at the University of St. Kenkley, also noted that Kenyan men are very marketable in the Kimberely area of SA and parts of the Guateng region. Reason, they are big, hopeless spenders.

Moral lesson, "Be careful dating a Kenyan online." Accepting the Award Ambassador Kinyesi, complained of biased judging. Also present were dignitaries from all around Africa.

Lick That Knife....

Has it ever occurred to you that when you lick a knife literally it might cut your tongue? Well, after applying peanut butter and using the same knife to cut the bread, I was tempted to lick it when I remembered a knife is double-edged. In life many things are double edged, people are double sided and we all at sometimes employ or rather implement what we call "double standards". It also occurred to me how totally different people are. One day I am all smiles and nice to you and the next, I a totally mean and cruel person. It can be as hurting as deciding to lick the wrong side of the knife.

Let me not go into the petty and definitive explanations, but I have learnt how simple and different people are. For instance, this afternoon, I was speaking to someone about the preference of a club one might want to visit. While I chose one simply because I believed that the ambiance is good and the crowd mature, my age mate chose another club simply because if you buy 3 drinks, you get one free and or if you buy the hard liquor, you get half of our purchase. It not only surprised me, I was left speechless and mesmerised  I thought we had some things in common. Or rather we shared similar ideas for things. I guess the joke is now on me.

It reminded me of the events of last week where everything for me just turned upside down. However, right now everything changed and instead of licking the edge by doing funny things with funny people, I have decided to lick my knife in style.

 Going to the places I like, be with the people I love and do the things I enjoy to do. Note that I come just before you and I. I will always be considerate of others by putting their feelings first. I will be thoughtful by asking them how their day was, I will be caring by taking care of them whenever I can. When I have the time in my hands, I will be me and I will enjoy myself to the fullest. You have you and I have me. 

Crushed

It is with a heavy heart that I share the news of the death of my boyfriend and the love of my life yesterday through an early morning accident. Today's blog is dedicated to him. He is finally at rest.

This comes as shock to me because I was in love with him and he was the light of my life. Like a candle that has been put out, he has gone with the wind. Yesterday was one exactly one month and four days since we started dating. Ours was a special kind of love. I will miss it as much as I will miss him. When I heard the news, it was surreal. I felt like someone has taken a knife to my chest, plunged it in and twisted it.

But you know what they say, "do not mourn for the dead, rather, celebrate the life you lived. I remember him fondly as the guy who made me laugh and in a long time, I was truly happy. He was kind, thoughtful, considerate and caring. I had found my Vin Diesel at last. For a while, the going was great. I appreciate having the opportunity to love him, care for him and have him in my life. He shall be missed greatly.

Its the cruelty of life that has led to this and I don't understand how people can be so cruel, but there comes a time when people think revenge is sweet. My heart is in pieces. My mind is weighed down with all the sadness. I have no strength left in me to fight on. However, I am a survivor. He was a great guy. He will surely be missed. He is at rest. I once believed in fairy tales. but now, I am left to...

A Love Letter

They say you can get over a broken heart.I believe some people are strong enough to and others can actually move on. I believe am one of those people who despite the time taken, I did make it to move on. I have known you for a while now and I still remember the first time I saw you. The first thing you did when you stopped, you  smiled. It was a scary thought but I thought to myself, "that is one smile I would like to see forever". The week passed and all I thought of was your smile. I remember you were wearing glasses so I was not able to see your eyes but your smile lit up my life. The next time I saw you, I would look at you and I was speechless because I felt something I had not felt a long time. I felt nervous, excited, confused, shy and I was rendered speechless. 

To be honest, I had promised myself I will NEVER EVER love someone again, that was until you came along. I love the way you smile, I love the way you tease me, I love the way you talk and you teach me so many things. I love spending time with you. I love that you are a gentleman.

This is me; I love hard, I am jealous, I am hard to please, I know what I want and I always get it, (ok. not always) I treasure honest people, I have become focused and now I know what it is I want. 

This is who I was; A drunk, I pitied myself, I never wanted to wake up. I was lost and confused and I thought I would never ever get over it. 

This was my last relationship. I invested everything I had in that relationship. Love, Time, Money and Family. After all that, I LOST EVERYTHING. I have become scared, sceptical and my defence mechanism nowadays is to run...run...run away very very far away from something I know might cause me pain or hurt me. I get easily disappointed when someone fails to keep their word and to me, they prove to be unreliable. 

I have come to accept that I cannot please everyone, but I can consider their feelings. I HATE what I don't understand. I have taken time to know myself again and I enjoyed being that person. I enjoy being honest about my feelings and when I would say no to someone and meant it, despite the fact that I would feel bad for them, I would still be happy I didn't lead them on.  When you allowed me into your life and into your bed, I wanted to stay there forever. I enjoy cooking for you, I enjoy the nights I sleep in your arms and I don't want to ruin that. Every day I spend with you is a joy to behold. I don't want try and run out when things get hard. I want to stick in there. And run the course. I need you to be patient with me.

I want to make you happy, my love, I want you to be my happy lover. Would you be mine?

Once Beaten...

Many, many years ago...okay, not so many because at only 23 I have so much more to see and experience and to learn. Many might disagree but I believe this to be true. That I laugh more than 20 times a day and that is ten times more life added to my life span. I used to think that life could not get any better. I had a roof over my head, I had a warm bed everyday and hot food every evening even though sometimes I really did not feel like eating. I had a great boyfriend with whom I believed that I could never have had such a beautiful person in my life, he was my air. (rather, I felt very miserable when he was away and I believed I would die if he was not in my life). That was the kind of person I was. Always happy, always bubbly.

If anyone would have t old me months later that he and I would no longer be together, I would not have believed the person. But on a fateful day May 2 it was, my world as I knew it was shattered to pieces. I believed that I was done. See, the thing is, I never had a plan B. You know, if A goes wrong, you have something planned that will not get you down. I didn't have that. All I knew was him. All I believed is him. I went berserk, I was furious, I was confused, I was bitter, I was angry. It took me a whole month to get my head screwed on straight.

After a while, things got better, I got stronger, I became able. I got the hang of it and my life as I know it was glorious. Marriage is overrated sometimes. But then again life is never that easy. Sometimes life does a creepy crawlie on you. But I tell you people, fall in love, fall deep in love. It is the greatest thing. Whether you have been beaten and are scared to get back in the game, whether your last person hurt you so bad that you vowed never to get involved again, whether you felt that life can never go on or whether you are very sceptical about your next involvement, move on, get on that bike and ride like you can ride into the sunset.

Love is a beautiful thing. When you have a bad day and you go home and you see his smile, when you are angry and you talk to him, when you get down on the table to eat together, when you look deep into his eyes and see your future, nothing can take away that feeling. You feel like you are all alone surrounded by beautiful things that have made the time stand still.

Its in your mind and makes you tingle with great pleasure  love does strange things, but it can never break your spirit. 

In or Out

Once in life someone told me that I sound very bitter when I write, so I went down memory lane and reviewed all my posts. I found out that true, I had been a bitter woman when I was writing, probably because I had been dumped and I had vowed never to be involved with any man. I stopped believing in Fairy Tales and Happy ending and I started taking life as it is. I also noted that when I did that, I did the see the positive and glowing recommendations I got. 

However, I was not really happy because that was not I wanted to write about, neither was it what I wanted people to know. Though not every good thing has a bad ending, all our action do have their own chatted out consequences. You know...like the punishment of sin is death. The impossibility of success is failure and the outcome of school is a lower degree of ignorance and a high degree of literacy. Yes, for every action there is a consequence. 

To have a relationship  you have to be patient, so you don't walk out and leave him or beat him to death. There has to be tolerance, if the love is not there anymore, there are some habits you can stand while he loves you till you love him back again. There has to be love, so that when he falls out of love with you, you have enough love to last you both your life times. And when he makes you so angry, you remember why you loved him in the first place and forgive him. 

Yes, truly said relationships are tough to maintain. Don't look at it like that though, think about it like this, you are so thirsty and your throat is parched dry, you crave for water. Not just any water, your tap water or mineral water or flavoured water and you know where to get it, so you go there. You pick it up and head to the cashier's to pay, once there, the cashier doesn't want to serve you just yet and you have to be kind and thoughtful and considerate to ask why and what's taking so long. Finally she serves and you break the seal and drink it down. When its almost over, you don't replace the bottle immediately, you take it and pour in clean water so that the taste and smell of the previous contents can linger on in your new water.

Yes, love quenches our thirst, for loneliness, friendships and the longing to be with another. so when it comes to it, will you go in with one foot out the door or both? don't hold grudges and never go to bed angry with someone. How many times have heard this? Have we paid attention or followed it?

Emotions

Emotions are wild, soft, calm, sweet and when you experience a feeling of confusion, excitement, limited straight thinking capacity. I will tell you one thing though, there is nothing as bad as a broken heart. They say better to have loved and lost than not to  have loved at all. This is true because love love is such a wonderful feeling. Love is thoughtful, generous, careful, considerate and kind. Love is so much and when you love someone , you always know how desperate you can get trying to protect loved ones. Yes, love brings light in our lives, it brings happiness and sunshine in our lives and it makes us just a couple of years younger. Love, something you can not understand but can't leave without.

With every positive there is always a negative and we can see this from way before our time. In the garden of Eden, everything was good apart from the tree of good and bad. Right? Everything has a good and bad. Love is a beautiful thing and a broken heart as a result of that good thing? Let me not get started. A broken heart is something that I do not wish even on my worst enemy. It is a feeling that crushes your heart into tiny bit pieces and the pain cannot be repaired with anything. I experience a broken heart a couple of years back and I vowed that I will not do that again. I will not let myself love someone so much to get that feeling again.

I felt like I had been crushed and my hands and legs could not move as a result of the pain. A broken heart is indescribable. Despite forgiving and forgetting about what had happened, I remember vividly how I felt on that day it happened. It is not something I would like to go through again. We however never have the heart to control our feelings.

I feel sixteen again when I look at him, he makes me smile and he makes me want more. He lights up the days of my life, he makes me think that because of me time can stand still. He makes my heart feel warm and bubbly and I love myself better. I have fallen in love yet again an it is the most wonderful thing I have ever known. 

Continue Loving One Another.

It is well known that we should love one another. Romans 13:8-10, in bit it says that “love does not work evil towards one’s neighbour. This clearly emphases on the importance of love and is a requirement of the fulfilment.  And many other Bible verses also emphasise. Sometimes however it proves very difficult to do so as their conduct proves otherwise. Ephesians 5:25 which says that husbands should continue loving their wives just as Christ loved us. I can’t begin to emphasise the importance of love and forgiveness in relationships, friendships and daily to daily life.

When you meet someone who knows it all, you have to humble yourself and remember that he actually knows it all. In mind, body and spirit, he believes he knows it all. And so, you have to be forgiven for thinking that you know anything in comparison with the person. Don’t let this dampen your spirits. All you have to do is get the evidence you need and this will prove in time that you were right. That you dealt with it and the mannerisms of the person in wisdom and knowledge. Though one might see the face of a horse and the other the face of a donkey, it is true, what I see is not what is.

We all do not see the same and we definitely do not see eye to eye. However, if you are humble and willing to learn your mind is set to be wiser. Listening and practicing discernment just goes to show how wise you are.

When you know what they say about you behind your back, and still at them pretending you don’t know what it is they are saying. You remember that no one is perfect, we have been made and are all equal in God’s eyes and only the choices we make as individuals are the ones that make us different from each other.

Don’t stare too long at that door. You have closed it. Move on onto better things. For your life is just as is, open one door after another and once you forgive, you open a door into a better brighter future. 

Do you...?

Managing people can be a very daunting task especially when you get someone who does not listen and is not inclined to listen to you. The learning process requires that you are humble and willing to learn. Most of the time we are given examples of children whose innocent questions are often very many. For instance a child would ask you why we eat or why we don't chew some food and we chew others or why people grow old and  despite the answers you give, there will be a why at the end of it all. the "why-s" will never cease. That is how humble the children are.

As adults we tend to develop an attitude maybe because of your position, your stature in life or your status and this leads to confrontations and, or, know-it-all attitudes.  Well, for instance we all know that we are not perfect. However, in the same sentence you have to admit that we know that we want the things we want, how we want them and when we want them. This is especially true when you can afford what you want and when it comes to someone else touching your possessions. Yes,

We all know when that happens. What we do about it. How we react when something like that happens. We however have not learnt from anything or any experience that we have undergone in the past and the reason being is that we always believe that we

We have forgotten to remove the spec in our own eye before jumping on our neighbour for the log in theirs. And we  always act so self righteous. We have to remember that humility is a virtue whether you own half the world and everything in it, whether you actually know everything, you will have one or two things to learn from the new guy. Take your time, know it slowly. Even if you know your job better than anyone else, there is that small chance that someone else knows it better than you do. 

Take your time, this world is just passing by. All the rush in the world will not allow you to do everything in a blink. 

TRUST - The Belief

Trust is a very strong word and a very strong sentiment. Its like glass, once you break it, it is rarely easily regained. Instead like Pieces of glass, you have to crush the pieces and build a whole new glass. Trust is equally a fragile thing.

Lately, I have discovered that trusting someone so easily is quite tricky. Once I trusted someone and I got a stab in the back, but I am a firm believer in second chances and in forgiveness. I forgave, forgot and moved on and there it was gain, a shattered spirit. I have to believe what the Bible says, to forgive seven time seven hundred times. I should not be tired of forgiving, but I can be weary of trusting people. After 3 strikes, I think I just have to stay out of your way.

I believe I am not the only one. You can be close friends, close relatives or even family. Trust still doesn't come easy. I remember as I was growing up, I had to be home before my father, regardless of the time of day I had to make sure I was home before my father.

I recall this incident like it was yesterday. I had told my mother where  I was going, but she warned me that my father might be home early and since he did not like for me to socialize with the neighbourhood boys. Well, I did listen and assumed that my father will never be home in the middle of the day. Well, as I was enjoying my cake, the one my high school crush had bought for me as he carried the movies we had borrowed from the library, my dad drove buy. Needless to say, the punishment was great and worse still, the trust that my dad had in me was completely shattered. From then on, I was put on a tight leash. Whether you believe it or not, the leash was loosened when I turned 21. :-). Yes, TRUST.

 it is in the palm of your hands. Whether you choose to trust your father, mother, brother, sister, friend or whomever is in your life, at one point or another you will shatter that trust someone had in you and they will shatter that trust you had in them. 

Only one person whom you can trust and will never let you down. Leave a comment and I will tell you who.

It's Difficult to be Stupid, Competition is Huge.

I was talking to a friend of mine about being single and then I mentioned the topic to my workmate and we got to an argument. My definition of single is different, so people I need your help. My friend, the one I was talking to, mentioned that she was single and I think to me, she had had many short lasting relationships in between that period of being single, meaning?

My workmate said that there are many types of being single, there is single and ready to mingle and single and ready for a relationship. Here, flings are included and still you are single. Help me out here guys, I just seem not to get it. Flings are relationships are they not?

Ok, for me, single means that you are alone, no flings, maybe a couple of failed dates here and there and according to society’s rules, engaging in meaningless casual sex. Now that is being single.

Here, with the use of a dictionary, let us define the term “single.” As an adjective, single means alone, sole, one, unmarried, solitary. And Wikipedia defines a single person as someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried.

Now, let us define relationships, relationships mean being connected, a relationship means " the way in which two or more people or things are connected with or involve each other." 

Now, for me single means being alone, enjoy yourself and your skin, allowing yourself to be a bit lonely because you have no one to call at anytime and allowing yourself to enjoy you. For me being single involves a lot of freedom to be who you are, to do what you want and to be who you want without limitations. Single involves ALWAYS putting yourself first and not putting up with crap, or late night calls. In this case, no sexual relationship is involved.

I have not been involved with a man for a while now since my last relationship, I have been single now for almost a year straight. Leaving out the failed dates and heart breaking crush-es, I am happy that I have by choice decided to be and do whatever it is that I want, whenever and however I want it.

Since the argument sticks, that my definition of single is wrong, help me out and help me understand. 

I need your help. 

Self-Actualization

I sometimes feel sad at the thought of what I would have accomplished years ago if I had not made some certain choices. However,  years down the line, here I am. I am living one day at a time. I felt like I have reached my limit. Well, that was until I read from Wikipedia 

"A basic definition from a typical college textbook defines self-actualization according to Maslow simply as "the full realization of one's potential".^[6]

A more explicit definition of self-actualization according to Maslow is "intrinsic growth of what is already in the organism, or more accurately of what is the organism itself...self-actualization is growth-motivated rather than deficiency-motivated."^[7] This explanation emphasizes the fact that self-actualization cannot normally be reached until other lower order necessities of Maslow's hierarchy of needs are satisfied. While Goldstein defined self-actualization as a driving force, Maslow uses the term to describe personal growth that takes place once lower order needs have been met, one corollary being that, in his opinion, "self-actualization...rarely happens...certainly in less than 1% of the adult population."^[8] The fact that "most of us function most of the time on a level lower than that of self-actualization" he called the psychopathology of normality.^[9]"

Well, after reading this, it made evaluate myself and how I am lately. I realized that lately, I love myself more, I am happier around my friends and I have accepted my situation. I have become very intolerant towards dishonest people. People, who lie to me, no longer have my attention for more than five minutes.

I recently stopped trusting someone because of the empty promises he made and the empty words he gave, I realized that I want to be happy, I don't entertain such. 

I love my work more, I love the people I work with and can tolerate them and I feel satisfied with what I have accomplished so far. All I am doing now is doing a better job, working harder and smarter to achieve more. 

I have learnt to accept myself and my flaws and I get very amused when I find myself laughing at what I have done. It doesn't make me angry that I have made a mistake, it amuses me that after all the trouble, time and effort I put in my work I end up messing it at the last minute. This helps me learn from my mistakes, make me more focused and make me determined to be better. 

I am happier, I feel alive and it’s all me. My choices, my lessons and now my decisions. Think about it, be yourself; after all, you cannot please everyone. 

Loving myself now has no…