Continue Loving One Another.

It is well known that we should love one another. Romans 13:8-10, in bit it says that “love does not work evil towards one’s neighbour. This clearly emphases on the importance of love and is a requirement of the fulfilment.  And many other Bible verses also emphasise. Sometimes however it proves very difficult to do so as their conduct proves otherwise. Ephesians 5:25 which says that husbands should continue loving their wives just as Christ loved us. I can’t begin to emphasise the importance of love and forgiveness in relationships, friendships and daily to daily life.

When you meet someone who knows it all, you have to humble yourself and remember that he actually knows it all. In mind, body and spirit, he believes he knows it all. And so, you have to be forgiven for thinking that you know anything in comparison with the person. Don’t let this dampen your spirits. All you have to do is get the evidence you need and this will prove in time that you were right. That you dealt with it and the mannerisms of the person in wisdom and knowledge. Though one might see the face of a horse and the other the face of a donkey, it is true, what I see is not what is.

We all do not see the same and we definitely do not see eye to eye. However, if you are humble and willing to learn your mind is set to be wiser. Listening and practicing discernment just goes to show how wise you are.

When you know what they say about you behind your back, and still at them pretending you don’t know what it is they are saying. You remember that no one is perfect, we have been made and are all equal in God’s eyes and only the choices we make as individuals are the ones that make us different from each other.

Don’t stare too long at that door. You have closed it. Move on onto better things. For your life is just as is, open one door after another and once you forgive, you open a door into a better brighter future. 

Do you...?

Managing people can be a very daunting task especially when you get someone who does not listen and is not inclined to listen to you. The learning process requires that you are humble and willing to learn. Most of the time we are given examples of children whose innocent questions are often very many. For instance a child would ask you why we eat or why we don't chew some food and we chew others or why people grow old and  despite the answers you give, there will be a why at the end of it all. the "why-s" will never cease. That is how humble the children are.

As adults we tend to develop an attitude maybe because of your position, your stature in life or your status and this leads to confrontations and, or, know-it-all attitudes.  Well, for instance we all know that we are not perfect. However, in the same sentence you have to admit that we know that we want the things we want, how we want them and when we want them. This is especially true when you can afford what you want and when it comes to someone else touching your possessions. Yes,

We all know when that happens. What we do about it. How we react when something like that happens. We however have not learnt from anything or any experience that we have undergone in the past and the reason being is that we always believe that we

We have forgotten to remove the spec in our own eye before jumping on our neighbour for the log in theirs. And we  always act so self righteous. We have to remember that humility is a virtue whether you own half the world and everything in it, whether you actually know everything, you will have one or two things to learn from the new guy. Take your time, know it slowly. Even if you know your job better than anyone else, there is that small chance that someone else knows it better than you do. 

Take your time, this world is just passing by. All the rush in the world will not allow you to do everything in a blink. 

TRUST - The Belief

Trust is a very strong word and a very strong sentiment. Its like glass, once you break it, it is rarely easily regained. Instead like Pieces of glass, you have to crush the pieces and build a whole new glass. Trust is equally a fragile thing.

Lately, I have discovered that trusting someone so easily is quite tricky. Once I trusted someone and I got a stab in the back, but I am a firm believer in second chances and in forgiveness. I forgave, forgot and moved on and there it was gain, a shattered spirit. I have to believe what the Bible says, to forgive seven time seven hundred times. I should not be tired of forgiving, but I can be weary of trusting people. After 3 strikes, I think I just have to stay out of your way.

I believe I am not the only one. You can be close friends, close relatives or even family. Trust still doesn't come easy. I remember as I was growing up, I had to be home before my father, regardless of the time of day I had to make sure I was home before my father.

I recall this incident like it was yesterday. I had told my mother where  I was going, but she warned me that my father might be home early and since he did not like for me to socialize with the neighbourhood boys. Well, I did listen and assumed that my father will never be home in the middle of the day. Well, as I was enjoying my cake, the one my high school crush had bought for me as he carried the movies we had borrowed from the library, my dad drove buy. Needless to say, the punishment was great and worse still, the trust that my dad had in me was completely shattered. From then on, I was put on a tight leash. Whether you believe it or not, the leash was loosened when I turned 21. :-). Yes, TRUST.

 it is in the palm of your hands. Whether you choose to trust your father, mother, brother, sister, friend or whomever is in your life, at one point or another you will shatter that trust someone had in you and they will shatter that trust you had in them. 

Only one person whom you can trust and will never let you down. Leave a comment and I will tell you who.

It's Difficult to be Stupid, Competition is Huge.

I was talking to a friend of mine about being single and then I mentioned the topic to my workmate and we got to an argument. My definition of single is different, so people I need your help. My friend, the one I was talking to, mentioned that she was single and I think to me, she had had many short lasting relationships in between that period of being single, meaning?

My workmate said that there are many types of being single, there is single and ready to mingle and single and ready for a relationship. Here, flings are included and still you are single. Help me out here guys, I just seem not to get it. Flings are relationships are they not?

Ok, for me, single means that you are alone, no flings, maybe a couple of failed dates here and there and according to society’s rules, engaging in meaningless casual sex. Now that is being single.

Here, with the use of a dictionary, let us define the term “single.” As an adjective, single means alone, sole, one, unmarried, solitary. And Wikipedia defines a single person as someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried.

Now, let us define relationships, relationships mean being connected, a relationship means " the way in which two or more people or things are connected with or involve each other." 

Now, for me single means being alone, enjoy yourself and your skin, allowing yourself to be a bit lonely because you have no one to call at anytime and allowing yourself to enjoy you. For me being single involves a lot of freedom to be who you are, to do what you want and to be who you want without limitations. Single involves ALWAYS putting yourself first and not putting up with crap, or late night calls. In this case, no sexual relationship is involved.

I have not been involved with a man for a while now since my last relationship, I have been single now for almost a year straight. Leaving out the failed dates and heart breaking crush-es, I am happy that I have by choice decided to be and do whatever it is that I want, whenever and however I want it.

Since the argument sticks, that my definition of single is wrong, help me out and help me understand. 

I need your help. 

Self-Actualization

I sometimes feel sad at the thought of what I would have accomplished years ago if I had not made some certain choices. However,  years down the line, here I am. I am living one day at a time. I felt like I have reached my limit. Well, that was until I read from Wikipedia 

"A basic definition from a typical college textbook defines self-actualization according to Maslow simply as "the full realization of one's potential".^[6]

A more explicit definition of self-actualization according to Maslow is "intrinsic growth of what is already in the organism, or more accurately of what is the organism itself...self-actualization is growth-motivated rather than deficiency-motivated."^[7] This explanation emphasizes the fact that self-actualization cannot normally be reached until other lower order necessities of Maslow's hierarchy of needs are satisfied. While Goldstein defined self-actualization as a driving force, Maslow uses the term to describe personal growth that takes place once lower order needs have been met, one corollary being that, in his opinion, "self-actualization...rarely happens...certainly in less than 1% of the adult population."^[8] The fact that "most of us function most of the time on a level lower than that of self-actualization" he called the psychopathology of normality.^[9]"

Well, after reading this, it made evaluate myself and how I am lately. I realized that lately, I love myself more, I am happier around my friends and I have accepted my situation. I have become very intolerant towards dishonest people. People, who lie to me, no longer have my attention for more than five minutes.

I recently stopped trusting someone because of the empty promises he made and the empty words he gave, I realized that I want to be happy, I don't entertain such. 

I love my work more, I love the people I work with and can tolerate them and I feel satisfied with what I have accomplished so far. All I am doing now is doing a better job, working harder and smarter to achieve more. 

I have learnt to accept myself and my flaws and I get very amused when I find myself laughing at what I have done. It doesn't make me angry that I have made a mistake, it amuses me that after all the trouble, time and effort I put in my work I end up messing it at the last minute. This helps me learn from my mistakes, make me more focused and make me determined to be better. 

I am happier, I feel alive and it’s all me. My choices, my lessons and now my decisions. Think about it, be yourself; after all, you cannot please everyone. 

Loving myself now has no…

Boom!!!

Come the weekend and I was doing a boogie dance., despite a very bad Friday, my weekend was one to remember. It was full of

and 

I mean, it has got to be one of the best and the loveliest weekend ever since I moved here. I first had to go to work. I was a very sad person at work and  I didn't like it one bit. My usual smile was dimmed with what had happened the previous day and my eyes, they did not have the usual sparkle. I was sad to tears and I hate talking about stuff as it makes me teary. 

Well, I didn't talk about it, but I have known how to handle it. This time round, I am not fooling around, I not joking around, I will be committed to my word. My YES will mean YES and my NO, NO. I will not be bullied into doing something I don't want to do or say and I do not want to be all sweet and understanding an d be good about it. 

Have you watched the movie YES MAN with Jim Carey in it?

If  you haven't, you should actually watch it. My days for being all nice are over. When I am nice, I consider your feelings and I end up getting hurt and this is not admirable as I lose and become very disappointed in not making it or doing whatever it was that I wanted to do. 

It was a lovely weekend, with smooth jazz music filling my ears, enjoying a glass of wine in the confines of my house. That was how good it was. 

A sound so beautiful and a moment so precious it will be remembered in lifetimes to come. It has made my week a little more bearable. 

Kisses and hugs. 

The High Road

This is what I had in mind since I had had a very lovely week, this past week. My boss was good to me, I was focused and I felt accomplished. I was productive and managed to deliver well. I was filled with utmost joy and happiness. I was looking forward to my Saturday morning when I knew I would take off from work. I was planning to sleep in and then join my fellow worshipers in dedication, come back home in the afternoon sleep, knit and watch movies or Desperate Housewives as it were. Well, that was the plan. 

However, by the time I was leaving the office at 6.30 pm, I was very annoyed. This is what happened, after days and days of talking about my Saturday and how I was planning to spend it, someone comes in and says how they also want to have the day off. And this is my story;

I work in the administrative office where we are two and since we share on office, it is not acceptable for our office not to be manned. and so it became that I had to sit in, was I bullied? Maybe, but it was my choice to sit in. I decided to take be the bigger person. I am NOT perfect, I do make mistakes and trust me, I mess up big time. I however always do my best to be honest about everything. The reason why I decided to stay behind is that my request was true and legitimate. Since my colleague lied his way to get his day off, I decided that to restrain myself not to be resentful towards the act. 

I am a sad person today because i did not get to do what I want, I have learnt that not everyone wants you to be happy. I have also learnt that despite the years, the knack and gimmicks for attention seeking never end. I also learnt that despite someone's else's strength there lies a great weakness and insecurity. I have also learnt that if I am true to myself, true to my actions and true to my principles, such small condescending 

actions will not and should not make me a bitter person. Rather, a bigger person. I am not 

 about it, but I can certainly be 

In reference to the Bible Matthew 5:38-40. I am going to simply turn the other cheek. 

Critical Thinking

The directory meaning of critical is "to judge severely or find fault. That simply means that I always view the glass as half empty and not half full. Let us review and define this statement in 4 views. 

One, I can view the glass as half empty, that does not mean that I am a pessimist  I might be an opportunist looking to fill that glass, right? I might also be a pessimist wondering why the glass is not full and who is going to  fill it for me. 

Three, If the glass is half full, I might be a positive person, meaning when a glass is half full, I have something to look forward to and it is very good that I have something small instead of nothing at all.  And well if it is half full, then where is the rest?

Well, honestly, I am very critical and I think, lately I have been more critical than usual. Which has brought to my attention that the older I get, the wiser I become and the more I do not care for nonsense, neither do I fall for the petty lines such as "I will build you a house."  Honestly, I look around nowadays I will always wonder , if at my age I did what this young person is doing now, or if I ever looked at people the same way or if I was as ignorant as they are or if I was as rude as they are now. 

My point was that I have started wondering where did time go? What happened that made me become who I am now and what are my accomplishments. Am I happy, am I where I want to be or am I doing what I want to do? are my friends who I want them to be or people I wished or wish to have in my life. 

At the end of it all I have decided that I have to reflect-think big about tomorrow, resolve-look for the positive in any situation and release-forget about perfection and aim for consistency. After all, our glasses will NEVER be the same size. 

 or will they?

Dream Home.

I recently moved to a new house. A bit bigger and better than the one I was initially staying in a small house where I had to share everything apart from my sleeping space. This for me was a new experience I must say and quite interesting. One that I do not wish to return to anytime soon. I have promised myself that I will work hard to not go back to the same place I was in. It was now the way forward or no way at all. I wish I could for some time be excited about it and about life.

I remember I went home one time to find that I had no electricity. All this time I thought people and adults at that are courteous, respectful; and do not need to be followed or to be advised on what to do. You can imagine knocking on people’s doors just to ask them for the payment of a bill that is past its due notice. How annoying that is. This is not a very exciting moment in my life. There and then I had a “Eureka moment”. To go and to do something very outrageous like move into

a 

Yes beautiful people, it had come to that. Fortunately, there was none of that. It was a beautiful move to a beautiful house and the best thing was that it was spacious enough for me and cool enough for my guests. I love this new place and now that all is going pretty well I can’t help but be grateful to all those who have been and who are still supporting me.

To be so happy only involves just ever so many people. Thank you all for your understanding and your help. I would never have been so happy without you. …No scratch that, I am ecstatic.

Imagine this, I am now in a spacious room with flowers and a place where people can sit and relax without the heat and without the pressures of life.

Remember, I love you. Yes YOU. 

Beautiful Love.

I want to renounce relationships with my male counterparts right now and here. Let me specify, there is friendships, there love relationships and there is family relationships. Now, here I mean girlfriend, boyfriend relationships. After such a long time of being single, I have come to enjoy my freedom, I enjoy my life, I enjoy where I worship without feeling judged, I enjoy my time very much. I have to admit, I enjoyed the simple pleasures of life. Now, recently I was very shocked to discover that I am in a relationship. 

Yes, I am shocked. Why? You wonder! Well, this is how it begun, simple lunches and I know that all girls agree with me that just because we are having lunch does NOT mean you are my boyfriend. I mean, If that was to happen, then all those men that sit with me at my lunch table are my boyfriend. Please note that I am not saying this out of spite, I like to keep my word when I say something, my word is my honor. 

I must say that love is a beautiful thing. It is passionate, patient and

happy.

It is a wonderful feeling. They say “It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all”. I find that statement true. But now, I want to love myself and enjoy myself, my life and my friends without having to tell anyone or “asking permission” to go where I want and when I want. Not only do I want to enjoy everything I do with the people around me, but I want to give my family, my children, my friends, unlimited time. A friend has just me that I should look for someone whose values and mine match and that when the love goes we are left with what binds us physically and physiologically. True, I agree. Call me stubborn or bitter, I believe I have a choice to remain single or to have a companion. When the appointed time arrives, I will make a decision which will be very beneficial. I insist that I love myself right now much more that I have loved myself in years. I have discovered myself, my life, my pleasures, my pains, my heart and I have been true to myself. Why should I stop now and why should I force my mind, my values on someone else. Tell me, Why should I compromise?

This world is not my home. It is passing by. And limitations are proving many

 and this  is not what I want to feel. 

Y’all feel me?

Lonely

The word lonely is derived from the adjective lone which literally means solitary, without accompaniment. Yes, that is what till a couple of day I thought I was. I recently discovered that I actually have not only one, but two Vin Diesels in my life. Yes, two. Can you believe it? I did not believe I actually have two companions. I was chatting with my friend the other day on my Nokia phone (How else will you know :-) ) and it was such a lovely feeling to be able to talk to a couple of people on my phone at once with all of them telling me different stories. It was a great feeling and I felt happy that despite the distance this…

made my evening a lot better.

Later on while I was just relaxing on my bed and after reading my choice for that night, I wanted to sit up a little bit and guess what, I was about to start pitying myself and feeling sorry for myself at how lonely I felt, but then again I discovered another friend, right there. My….

Yes. He might not have humanly feelings, but I believe he keeps me company. When I am low, he plays smooth jazz, he knows what I like. When I feel like laughing, he plays me a comedy that is rib cracking. When I feel like reading, he has a couple of books lined up for me to enjoy. All these in one Vin, I love him. Sometimes when he gets mad and refuses to talk to me, I feel bad. But all the same, he has proved loyal and despite some difficult times. He has proved a loyal standing friend.  I am

this close to him. Now who says I am lonely in my new town. Two of my Vins and my house are the perfect set up. I can ask for more, but not just right now.

Admitted

Sometimes, I sit down and think, sometimes I sit down and eat and sometimes, I sit down and do nothing about nothing. All the time I have a conversation with someone, or myself. I think I might be going crazy. Yesterday (metaphorically) I sat down and had a conversation that led me to believe I had gone crazy. It was a topic jumping conversation that led to many thoughts running in my head. All this drew me towards an “evil” I had been avoiding. I felt as if I was being torn apart by two giants. Yes, all ladies know what I am talking about especially if you are a single lady by choice.

Here I was enjoying my life as a single woman (imagine me skipping in a garden full of flowers in bloom) all life simple and not judging, a heart filled with laughter and love. A joy to behold for a long time. Then here comes a man, with everything I want. Kind, generous, thoughtful, inspiring, loving, caring and handsome. He showers me with the attention I seek and the love I very much and desperately want. Yes, Vin Diesel. Not only is he well endowed but he is all I seek in a man.

Jealous when I speak to other men and his attachment to me grows. Warning !! Warning !! Warning!!, I feel nothing for him. I like him as he happens to be human and well, he is all I seek in a man. However, my fear comes in when I feel or rather know that he will eventually cause grief in my heart. I am so afraid that he will break my heart that I have kept him at an arm’s length. Am I wrong in doing so? Of course. This means that I am toying with his feelings.  But then again, he seems to make life interesting and exciting.

Dashing....

I am in a new city in my country and I miss such simple pleasures, such simple joys of being showered with attention by a cute man who resembles one of my fave actors of all times. VIN DIESEL. I want my very own Vin in my new city and I want him now.

A Play With Words... or Is It?

As most of the images in my blog come from the website or Google, I can say that there are somethings you should just not fool around with. As someone who likes to have fun with caution, I have to say that some words should not be played with. For instance, the word love. I recently had someone tell me “I love you”. It was via the use of the short messaging service(SMS/text), clearly I should not take this seriously. However, I am. I take it seriously for two reasons. One is that I don’t feel the same way, two,, I just don’t feel the same wan and three, why should he love me? My friends can love me, my acquaintances and the boy I will love. but some person I consider to be a random guy I run into, no. He can love me in his own way. Agreed, which brings the question “how DOES he love me?” On the other hand, he did sit down, take his phone and communicate. He passed the message across. And I got it, loud and clear.

A play with words is basically about the word love. Love is a strong feeling, a feeling that comes with mixed emotions. A feeling of elation, joy, pain and sadness. So when you tell me you love me, I see that you truly do love me. I mean, you would not just be telling me that, or would you? I mean, why say it when you already had your hand in the cookie jar. Scary thought, scary feeling. “I love you”. despite how you say and when you say it, they will always have an impact on someone’s life.

Just this morning, I had great joy in my heart and I felt loved and happy. I owe it all to my BF, who made the weekend the best one in months. She is my best friend in the whole world and I love her. Now, say it to me baby….come on…say it…I love you!! There you go, wasn't so hard now, was it? If you truly love the person, it comes out very easily. It flows and rolls of your tongue, because that is what and how you feel.

Who loves who first? YOU. Love yourself and everyone else who matters, will love you as well.

Hello World!!!

Well, without having an assumed name and I am liking this personality, I would like to welcome you to my official blog officially. Yes, all the days of the aliases are gone and under. Once upon a time, my sister told me that the worst thing that can happen to you is for you to become indifferent. 

The dictionary meaning of indifference is the lack of care or concern. We all live in trying times and sometimes you just want to be alone and if someone crosses your path, all you do is shrug and move on as nothing can be done. I would like to tell you that you HAVE to care, you HAVE to be concerned. Its all in your DNA and IT IS a quality that should be exercised and cultivated. I feel rather indifferent right now towards all people who do not care enough to keep their word. For all those I don't know, I would like to say a big hello.

I say here and now that I care about y'all and I pray that you can do it and join me. Don't be indifferent, it doesn't pay. It just means that you will grow to be resentful then breed contempt then at the end, give it all up for a life that would have been better had it not been that one person who gave you that cold shoulder. 

So Hello World!! Watch out, here I am.