I received a very interesting call from a friend yesterday—someone I hadn’t spoken to in many, many years. The conversation caught me off guard in the best way. It’s been a long time since I received such kind and affirming words from someone who once knew me closely.
What struck me even more was the realisation that this wasn’t an isolated moment. This was the third person in the span of three months who had approached me to share how impressionable, principled, loving, and generous I had been in their life. Hearing this stirred a mirage of emotions—gratitude, nostalgia, and quiet confusion.
I am 44 and single. Yet here I am, reconnecting with men who were once part of my past and who I now consider friends. Their words made me pause and wonder: If these were the qualities they saw in me then… what happened?
One admitted that he “dropped the ball” somewhere along the way. Another confessed that if he could turn back time, he would have married me. However, the one who is currently my friend, remains just that – my friend. He too spoke of how impressionable I was, and I almost jokingly asked if I wasn't anymore!
One even reminded me that tea used to be my go-to drink. I laughed and told him, “Now it’s wine.”
I genuinely appreciated the attention and the kindness from these gentlemen. It wasn’t just flattering—it was deeply touching. After all these years, I had left a mark in someone’s life. That matters.
But reflection invites honesty.
I realised that I, too, had sabotaged my own relationships. I was probably very judgmental. Deep down, I didn’t see these men as my life partners. Ironically, the man I did see my life with is the one who broke my heart. Such is life’s quiet irony.
These unexpected kind words have reminded me of the woman I once was—and the woman I would like to be again, despite life's challenges and having been somewhat overtaken by life's events. Life happens. It overtakes us, reshapes us, hardens some edges. It's a powerful feeling to be seen, truly seen, and to be reminded of the positive impact one can have. It’s a call to reclaim that essence, to navigate the present with the wisdom of the past, and to embrace the future with renewed grace.
And maybe that, in itself, is a gift worth rediscovering.
