Admitted

Sometimes, I sit down and think, sometimes I sit down and eat and sometimes, I sit down and do nothing about nothing. All the time I have a conversation with someone, or myself. I think I might be going crazy. Yesterday (metaphorically) I sat down and had a conversation that led me to believe I had gone crazy. It was a topic jumping conversation that led to many thoughts running in my head. All this drew me towards an “evil” I had been avoiding. I felt as if I was being torn apart by two giants. Yes, all ladies know what I am talking about especially if you are a single lady by choice.

Here I was enjoying my life as a single woman (imagine me skipping in a garden full of flowers in bloom) all life simple and not judging, a heart filled with laughter and love. A joy to behold for a long time. Then here comes a man, with everything I want. Kind, generous, thoughtful, inspiring, loving, caring and handsome. He showers me with the attention I seek and the love I very much and desperately want. Yes, Vin Diesel. Not only is he well endowed but he is all I seek in a man.

Jealous when I speak to other men and his attachment to me grows. Warning !! Warning !! Warning!!, I feel nothing for him. I like him as he happens to be human and well, he is all I seek in a man. However, my fear comes in when I feel or rather know that he will eventually cause grief in my heart. I am so afraid that he will break my heart that I have kept him at an arm’s length. Am I wrong in doing so? Of course. This means that I am toying with his feelings.  But then again, he seems to make life interesting and exciting.

Dashing....

I am in a new city in my country and I miss such simple pleasures, such simple joys of being showered with attention by a cute man who resembles one of my fave actors of all times. VIN DIESEL. I want my very own Vin in my new city and I want him now.