BITTER SWEET

I recently put up a post on my Facebook Page. The post “I woke up this morning, looked back and understood why I left some things/people behind. I looked left and understood why I have some on the left. I looked to my right and saw that the people I have always considered right in my life have left me broken hearted. I looked ahead and saw that I can make new and right choices. A new dawn.” My friend Siri, immediately asked me if I still write my blog and I realized it has been a while. While I use this platform to write opinions, my opinions and my friends’ opinions and stories, this particular one is based on my own intimate and personal thoughts. I have emphasized how Siri reminds me that I write sob stories. At the end of each story is a realization. The post on Facebook was not a realization or a cryptic message to anyone, and definitely not a sob story and I hope none of you took it as such. It was meant to be a motivational message. It was to serve as a reminder that before you are strong enough to love other people, you have to love yourself. Only then can you allow yourself to be loved by others and you to love other people.

I had just gone through a period where I felt like I was jumping from one relationship to the next and there was just no space in between for me to breath or find out just who I am or what I want to do. I did not want to keep on asking “why?” I want to say “what am I doing about it?” and currently that is what I am doing. I am asking myself, “how am I going to get this?” “when should I get it?”.
But I know this and I am sure that you will agree with me. “You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.”-J O Coudert. #stolen.

Therefore, as you go through your business in life, each step you take, each person you meet, remain focused and remember a few things. Some of these I live by and some I believe in. All of them have taught me to be self-confident and self-assured. How do you feel about gossiping? While you are busy gossiping, I am busy taking care of my business. It doesn’t mean that I do not gossip, I find my time better spent doing other things. Like, let’s discuss my goals, my aspirations, my dreams and how I am going to achieve all these.

I also know that when something is on my mind, I will say it. In high school, my desk mate went and told on me about a kiss I had with a boy, and the boy was angry, I didn’t speak to my desk mate for two weeks. I would write notes to her instead, to me that constituted no talking. Was she wrong? No, she was not. Did I know it, no, I felt like she was infringing on my happiness. Therefore, my friends, the truth is always a bitter pill to swallow. You will come to see it later. I was mad at her for a long while but in the real sense she had my best interests at heart. I came to respect her for it later. It is well known that you cannot see the log in your own eye but will easily notice the speck in the other person’s eye. The older I have become, the more mature my mind has become.

Remember to be humble. One special person I met about seven years ago, despite the fact that I was rude to this person, I have come to learn many things from him and he still teaches me a lot. You will be to note that upto date, I will still ask him for assistance and guidance. Always humble and courteous and he will always be honest. Even when I don’t want to hear it, he will explain it to me like I’m a two year old. Considering how busy he is, I always appreciate the time he takes to pay attention to me. Thank you my special friend.
I am not where I want to be at the moment and you have a right to your opinion. I understand that your opinion is about you and while I value your input, I sometimes may not necessarily agree with your choices. I relish being alone because I get the time to think and plan and get to see a way forward. Believe it or not, all the decisions I have made that and those that I based also on my instincts have come from being alone. My alone time it tranquil.

The last of all of my sentiments is that, and please my friends and family take note of this, I do not take things personally.  Let’s take for example, you get cut but ignore it because you think it is a small one and it will heal quickly. The more you ignore it the more it gets infected. By the time you decide to take care of it, it is already highly infected. The healing process will be very slow and very painful. Well, in my life, that is exactly what I want to avoid. Once I get that cut, I want to deal with it quickly so I can avoid the slow and painful healing process. At the end of it all, it is you and your conscience. Therefore, please understand that I love you and I will hold nothing personal against you. I sincerely have no time and energy to.

Get supporters NOT fans. You are the choices you make.  I love you all.